Q) My husband likes to invite people all the time in our house. this causes me a great deal of inconvenience and upsets me as it takes out of our private time as a couple. to what extent we are obliged to our guests? and what is our rights and responsibilities towrads our guests in islam?
A) Praise be to Allaah.
It was narrated that Abu Shurayh al-‘Adawi said: I heard with my own two ears and I saw with my own two eyes when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) spoke and said: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him honour his neighbour; whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him honour his guest as he is entitled.” It was said, ‘What is his entitlement, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “[The best treatment] for one day and one night; and hospitality is for three days, and anything after that is charity bestowed upon him. And whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him, speak good words or else remain silent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5560; Muslim, 69. This version was narrated by al-Bukhaari.
The guest has rights, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. There should be no doubt about this matter. If guests come without being invited, they should be honoured, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said.
Yes, if they are bad friends or are those who have nothing better to do and impose themselves on others all the time, then they should be treated in a manner that befits them, because they annoy the people with their actions.
But if it is your husband who is inviting a lot of people to your house, then in this case you should speak to him in a gentle manner, and come to an agreement about how to invite people, so that he will not invite anyone without speaking to you first, and you can agree to reduce the number of invitations in a suitable manner.
You – may Allaah bless you – should not express displeasure to your husband when the guests are there, because this is something that will make matters worse and will not solve the problem. You have to be patient, because patience is the key to finding a way out.
Strive to create a calm atmosphere in your house, with good words and kind treatment. Some husband may resort to inviting a lot of friends over in an effort to relax, because their wives may not be good at creating an atmosphere that suits their husbands, so that makes them look for this atmosphere with their friends. So try to understand your husband’s nature so that you can create a suitable atmosphere that will make him happy and relaxed, which is what is he is looking for with his friends.
We ask Allaah to set things straight between you, and to help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.